I figured out this whole Easter candy thing.

I suspect it serves the same purpose as Halloween candy.

Bribes.

This morning, after a healthy bowl of oatmeal and blueberries, I fed the Cub chocolate eggs in the bath while combing through his accumulated dreadlocks.

Also, the bath water was freezing.

I had filled the tub while Ben was taking a shower and apparently that was enough for our hot water heater to say HAHAHAHA. NOPE. So, the Cub stood in cold water eating chocolate while I worked at combing through the seven cups of detangler I had smeared all over his head.

I came away victorious, and he came away covered with chocolate. It was mutually beneficial if you discount the ‘getting clean’ portion of bathing and only focus on the curls. Which is what I do. Because that’s how parenting works. 50% success rate is like… a SOLID shelter-in-place day. So, go me.

I’m down to six chocolate eggs. Which means, the Cub’s hair will probably only be presentable for the next few days. When the bribes dry up, he’ll just live matted with dirt and crumbs; a feral bike-riding beast who scoots around the yard terrorizing my flower beds and demanding sesame street videos from his nest of snarls, toy cars, blueberry stains, and cherry-petal-encrusted-feet.

Sending love from on top of the hill,